Math Jokes

[Epsilon]

I figured this board could use some new content, so why not a joke thread? I'll add some stuff to here as it comes to mind, but to start here's one I heard this weekend in Seattle at the West Coast Operator Algebras Seminar. Sam will get it, and people in topology may eventually, after you guys study compactness:

Q: What is an abstract harmonic analyst?



A: Someone who thinks any interesting mathematical statement must begin with "Let G be a locally compact group".

[Robert]

;D ;D ;DNice joke (I think...). Hey Jules, Karen and I checked out your web page the other day and she wanted me to tell you that she thinks your blond locks look great! I think that she wants me to go blonde too ???but I prefer pink or flourescent green . Any how keep up the good work bon homme, as I am sure you will. ;D

[Sam Walters]

Great idea Julian! And good to hear from you. Here's one:


"I can't explain this. I think it's obvious, though." (MIT Math Prof.)

[pb]

Here is a math joke:

There is a math party and all the functions are invited. sine, cosine, log, e^x, and all the other regulars, they're all there. During the party, cosine notices that e^x is in the corner all by himself. cosine walks up to e^x and asks him in a concerned manner "why won't you come on and integrate with everybody?". e^x replies "I can't, I can only integrate with myself".

[Jim]

Here:

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician (it is said) were holidaying in Scotland. Glancing from a train window, they observed a black sheep in the middle of a field.
"How interesting," observed the astronomer, "all scottish sheep are black!"

To which the physicist responded, "No, no! Some Scottish sheep are black!"

The mathematician gazed heavenward in supplication, and then intoned, "In Scotland there exists at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side

AND:

The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply."

A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah.
"Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes.

Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"

"Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply."

;D

[Jim]

And my favourite...


What is the integral of "one over cabin" with respect to "cabin"?
Answer: Natural log cabin + c = houseboat.


Har..Har...